yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
