This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
