Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
