soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize