On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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