so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize