Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
