Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
being pregnant is like rehab
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize