the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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