i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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