Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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