his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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