I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
