i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
