so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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