I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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