I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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