Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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