i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
