Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
