I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
