i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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