I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
