He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
