its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
