So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
