I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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