Screwed.edu
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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