he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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