Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
