no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
organizing the empties. That sober.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
