i don't like sucking hair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
