I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I look better un-naked...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
