My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
