Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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