You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
