Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
