all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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