Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
