i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
