i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
