For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
