At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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