I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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