how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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