I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize