dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
