Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
