I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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