I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
