YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
