she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
