After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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