Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
