I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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