Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
