I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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