You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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