just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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