My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
