Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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