I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
